Years ago there was a little girl that always felt so lonely. Even if others were around she felt still alone. She didn’t understand why but she had trouble connecting with others and making friends.
One year she was sent to summer camp. Despite begging to stay home she was told the same thing she had heard for years, “Maybe you’ll make some friends and have fun.”
During the trip she asked to call home. When she talked to her mother she tried to explain how miserable she was, begging and and pleading to come home. Tears streamed down her face as she failed to express how upset, lonely, and scared she was. She felt rejected and was met with the same empty promise that she would make friends and have fun if she just stayed.
After the phone call she wiped the tears from her face and struggled to get through the rest of the camp activities, trying her best to ignore her feelings.
Later on all of the kids went back to their room. The rooms were lined with bunk beds. Looking down at her bed she noticed a little, red pompom that must have been missed the last time the room was cleaned. Picking it up she looked it over and then clutched it in her hand. She decided that it would become her friend to help cope with her loneliness. It became a good distraction from the way she felt, from her fears, and it helped her ignore when she was excluded by the other kids. She had something to get her through the rest of the trip and help her not to feel so lonely.
Years later she still had that little, red pompom. She kept it in a little keepsake box as a reminder of the joy it brought her when she had to make her own friend.
A lot of children who endure trauma, abuse, and neglect have trouble connecting with others. They have deep wounds that they don’t know how to navigate and usually aren’t aware of them until they’re much older (if they ever realize they have them at all). This makes it hard for them to make friends both throughout childhood and later in life. They don’t always understand why they feel the way that they do and usually don’t know how to express it to others.
The wounds caused by others makes it very common for them to easily attach to inanimate objects or animals because of the lack of trust they carry towards people. Children are naturally trusting but if that trust is broken, and they are wounded, they quickly start to attempt to protect themselves.
Trusting people becomes a difficult process for many who have been hurt, especially for those hurt by people they grew up with and loved. They have to see someone’s true character in order to fully trust that they mean what they say due to past betrayal. Once they are able to trust someone it is usually on a much deeper level than what may be considered normal.
Trust is such a precious thing and finding those to trust even more so to a wounded soul.
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Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Matthew 7:16-18
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